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Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash/Transcript

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The following is a transcript from the tenth episode, Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash.

Act 1Edit

(Intro)

(Shows the title card with Geo Guy and Green Bob sitting in the Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash rollercoaster)

Text: Written by GEO G.

Text: Storyboarded by LUCAS HURFORD, ADAM KATZ, and TAYLOR GRODIN

Text: Supervising Director TERRY WARD

Text: Sequence Director RICH MOORE

(Fades to black)

(Fades to the outside of Geo Guy's house)

(Cuts to Geo Guy, Green Bob and Crash Bandicoot sitting down on a couch and playing E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial on Atari 2600)

Crash Bandicoot: Woah! You're right. (angry) This game does kinda suck!

Green Bob: Definitely!

Geo Guy: That's what I was thinking when I played the game. The only reason why I played it is because I liked the movie!

Green Bob: Let's play the recently released game Sonic the Hedgehog.

(Geo Guy removes the E.T. cartridge)

Geo Guy: Off to New Mexico, where the E.T. cartridges belong!

(Geo Guy unplugs the Atari 2600)

Geo Guy: This Atari is for my parents! (puts it away)

(Geo Guy tries to plug in his Sega Genesis console, but is interrupted by Crash Bandicoot)

Geo Guy: (holding a cord) We're ready to play on the Genesi--

Crash Bandicoot: (shouting) Wait!

Geo Guy: What?

Crash Bandicoot: (sad) I don't think I'll have the time to stay at your house, Geo Guy!

Geo Guy: It's a pity that you can't stay for a little longer!

Crash Bandicoot: (happy) I have to start building my ride today and finish it by tomorrow.

Geo Guy: What's it called?

Crash Bandicoot: Well... (looking at the camera) ahem, cue the zooming out!

(The scene zooms out and the background changes into a sky background)

Crash Bandicoot: (excited) The ride is called the (shouting fast) Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash.

(Fireworks occurs in the background; the scene goes back to the living room)

Green Bob: (neutral) You can't build a ride in one day. That's impossible.

Geo Guy: It's cartoon logic, Green Bob. Cartoon logic.

Crash Bandicoot: See ya! (leaves the living room) Bye!

Green Bob and Geo Guy: Bye!

Act 2Edit

(Cuts to Crash Bandicoot looking at his sketch drawing of Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash on paper outside the Geo Team base)

Crash Bandicoot: (holding paper) Very good! I should put the ride (pointing at grass) here! I should start building. It's a good thing I've got wood!

(Crash Bandicoot gets wood and his toolbox out)

Crash Bandicoot: I better start now... or else, it will be never!

(The song "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye starts playing)

(Crash Bandicoot start building over different periods of the day)

(When the song ends, Crash Bandicoot finishes building the ride at midnight)

Crash Bandicoot: (looking at the ride) Great building...

(The bird flies to Crash's roller coaster, got hit by Crash's hammer, and falled down)

Crash Bandicoot: (upset) Sorry, little bird. (happy) I don't want to break the fourth wall, but also great song! (yawns) I should go to sleep. (walks away)

(Fades to 10:00 AM when some members of the Geo Team see Crash Bandicoot's ride)

Jan: Splendid.

Green Bob: (thinking in his head sadly) I'm sorry I doubted you, Crash!

Geo Guy: Crash is a genius!

Jason: Crash isn't a nerdy genius, he's a fun genius!

Cartman: Cool. It's bigger than my motherf--

Toon Link: (slices Cartman) We don't use bad words because the FCC hates those words! It's a kid's show.

(Crash Bandicoot arrives twirling like a tornado)

Crash Bandicoot: Sorry, I'm late. I was busy ironing my pants.

(Cuts to a flashback where Crash Bandicoot irons his pants)

Crash Bandicoot: (looking at his watch) I better be on time!

(The scene goes back to the present time)

Crash Bandicoot: The ride is free for the testers!

Jason: Yay!

Crash Bandicoot: I'll show you a tour around!

(Crash Bandicoot walks around with some of the Geo Team members)

(Cuts to Cortex, Gree Guy and Memy9909 watching the Geo Team from a tree)

Cortex: I wish that Crash never turned against me. (jealous) Now, he's showing a tour with the (making finger quotes) "good guys"!

Gree Guy: I know.

Cortex and Memy: (surprised) You do?

Gree Guy: Yes. Me and Memy should impersonate Crash, lock the real one in janitor's closet at a community center...

Cortex: Community center? You brought a community center?

Memy: Yes, we stole it and turned it into our base.

Gree Guy: Well, let's merge me and Memy together and transform us into Fake Crash.

Act 3Edit

(Cuts to Crash Bandicoot showing the Geo Team the Crash mouth)

Coraline: (disgusted) Eww... that's the mouth?

Crash Bandicoot: It is, Coraline.

(Margo and Dave arrive)

Margo: Sorry that I'm late. I was helping Gru mix PX-41 with PX-49 and it was disastrous.

Dave: (sad) Despicably disastrous!

Crash Bandicoot: Okay. (talks to the other Geo Team members) Well, the tour's ended. (excited) Have fun on the Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash.

(The Geo Team minus Crash go on the ride)

Crash Bandicoot: I better return the paint to the community center! (runs away)

Gree Guy (from a tree): He's going to the community center!

Memy9909 (from a tree): Let's copy Crash's intelligence and mind so the Geo Team will think our impersonation is...

Cortex (from a tree): (shouting) LEGIT!

(Cuts to Geo Guy, Green Bob, Jan and Jason getting on the same rollercoaster train/cart)

Geo Guy: (extremely excited) This is better than Six Flags in Texas!

Green Bob: Definitely!

Jason: Crash said this ride was fast, and fast means cool!

Jan: If it's too fast, then losing your eyeballs isn't cool!

Jason: Don't be shy, be satisfied. This will be the best time of your childhood!

Geo Guy: He's right, Ja--

(The ride starts speeding)

Geo Guy: (screaming) JAAAAAANNNN!!!

Jan: Why are you screaming my name? (looks at the numerous loops clearly; nervous) Nevermind... (screaming) AAAHHHH!!!!

(Cuts to Dr. Neo Cortex, Memy9909 and Gree Guy at the door of the Geoville Community Center)

Gree Guy: (sneering) We'll be the best villains in the entire Geo County!

(The trio laugh evilly)

Memy9909: The bandicoot is comin'! Put on our disguises!

(The trio put on their disguises)

Crash Bandicoot: (holding paint buckets) Hello, community center people. I would like to return the paint buckets, please.

Neo Cortex: That's a pleasure. (grabs the paint buckets)

Crash Bandicoot: Your voice sounds familiar.

(The trio rip off their disguises; Crash gasped)

Memy9909: (holding a net; angry) There's no need to be so intelligent! (catches Crash)

Crash Bandicoot: (shocked) Woah! Let me out!

(The trio walk with Crash Bandicoot in a net inside; the trio laughed evilly)

Dr. Neo Cortex: (opens the janitor's closet) This is where you belong!

(Memy9909 locks Crash Bandicoot inside the closet; Bryan Guy walks to Memy9909)

Bryan Guy: (high fives Memy) High five!

(Fades to black for commercial break)

Act 4Edit

(Fades to two hours later when Geo Guy and Green Bob are taking a break from the ride)

Geo Guy: Where the freakin' doofus is that bandicoot?

Green Bob: The last time I heard from Crash was when he said he was going to return the paint buckets into the community center two hours ago.

Geo Guy: And... what else?

Green Bob: Unfortunately, the Gree Team turned the community center into their own home base. The real Crash was trapped in the janitor's closet of the Gree Team base, on the other hand, the fake Crash went out to the arcade at Geoville City Mall and plays Pac-Man.

Geo Guy: Okay. (looks at Fake Crash) Ooh, here he comes now.

(Fake Crash running to them)

Fake Crash: Well, guys. I'm here!

Geo Guy: Gee golly, where were you?

Fake Crash: Uh, I've returned the paint buckets to the janitor's closet at the community ceneter.

Geo Guy: Really?

Fake Crash: Yes. After that, I went to Geoville City Mall, and played Pac-Man at the arcade.

Green Bob: Are you sure?

Fake Crash: Yes, I'm 100% sure! Also, tell your friends that I'm back!

(The scene clocks wipe to every member of the Geo Team meeting Fake Crash outside)

Fake Crash: Well, guys. (excited) You can go back on the Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash.

(The Geo Team minus Dave and Margo go to the ride)

Fake Crash: (turns around) Now, it's the time. (Gree Guy's voice) Finally, they think our impersonation of Crash is legit! (Memy9909's voice) Now, they will be grounded for life!

(Dave and Margo gasped)

Dave: (speaking English) That liar!

Margo: Actually, it's those liars!

(Fake Crash turns around to look at them)

Fake Crash: (Crash's voice) You can go on the ride now!

(Cuts to the real Crash in the janitor's closet at the community center; Crash is tied to a chair and is being forced to watch a loop of the movie Mac & Me)

Ronald McDonald (on the TV; on-screen): Hiya, kid. How's it going?

Eric Cruise (on the TV; off-screen): It's fine.

Ronald McDonald (on the TV; off-screen): Nice teddy bear.

Crash: (screaming) THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE! (looks around to see a ventilation shaft) Woah! An air vent! (spins like a tornado) This is why I like the tornado spin!

Dr. Neo Cortex (outside): I hope you're still sitting on that chair!

(Crash unscrews the air vent)

Crash: I better tell the Geo Team about this! (jumps into the air vent)

(Dr. Neo Cortex opens the door, gasped at the janitor's closet; the closet was empty, except the chair, the TV, and the rope lying on the floor)

Dr. Neo Cortex: (angry) He's gone! (sad) Gree Guy will kill me if the real Crash escaped the closet of... (Darth Vader's voice) the community center janitor.

(The dun-dun-dun sound effect occurs)

(Fades to black)

Act 5: The real Crash is BackEdit

(Fades to Dr. Neo Cortex talking to the Gree Team minus Gree Guy and Memy9909)

Dr. Neo Cortex: Guys, Crash has escaped from the janitor's closet.

(The Gree Team gasped)

Bryan Guy: We've got to capture him!

(Cuts to Crash Bandicoot arriving outside of the Geo Team base)

Geo Guy: Crash? I thought you were in the Geo Team House.

Crash: (exhausted from running) When I was returning the paint buckets to the community center, Dr. Neo Cortex, Gree Guy, and that stupid Memy9909 kidnapped me and locked me in the janitor's closet of the community center. Dr. Neo Cortex, Bryan Guy, Gree Guy, and Memy9909 tied me up on a wooden chair and forced me to watch the worst movie of all-time, "Mac and Me"!

Geo Guy: So you're telling me the truth, and you've watched the movie that you hate, when the Gree Team forced you to do so. Now, what is "Mac and Me", then?

Crash: (sighs) I'm afraid you'll be mad when I tell this. Mac and Me is a 1988 American science fiction adventure film co-written (with Steve Feke) and directed by Stewart Raffill about a "Mysterious Alien Creature", also known as Mac, that escapes from the nefarious NASA agents, the agents who worked for (shows the NASA logo) the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

Geo Guy: The National Aeronautics and Space Administration. (serious) Was it also known as NASA?

Crash: Yes, but Mac is befriended by a boy who uses a wheelchair due to paraplegia. Together, they try to find MAC's family, from whom he has been separated. The film stars Jade Calegory (in his only film appearance), Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward, Katrina Caspary, and Lauren Stanley. It also marks the film debut of a then-unknown Jennifer Aniston, who features as an uncredited extra. The decision to create the film was based solely on the success of E.T. (1982). The title "Mac and Me" comes from the working title for E.T. known as, E.T. and Me.

Geo Guy: Was that the only science fiction adventure film you hated?

Crash: (angry) Yes!

Geo Guy: (angry) Well, don't watch that stupid film of yours, ever, ever, EVER, again! Okay?

Crash: (realized) Oh. Okay. (jealous) I won't watch it.

Geo Guy: Good. Anyways, about the Gree Team, do you think the fake Crash I saw was an imposter?

Crash: In a cosmic sort of way, yes.

Geo Guy: Well, then. That fake Crash is a liar! (running) I've gotta tell Green Bob and the Geo Team.

(Crash runs with him)

(The rest of the Gree Team and Dr. Neo Cortex get out of a hole)

Pingux2012: This is a theme park, not the Geo Team base!

Bryan Guy: It's the Geo Team base, stupid.

Memy9909: Stop arguing! We've got a theme park to destroy!

(Cuts to Geo Guy and Crash in the fun room informing Green Bob and Jan)

Geo Guy: Guys, this is the real Crash!

Green Bob: Wait, what? There's always been one Crash Bandicoot that I know of.

Crash: No, you got it all wrong. The Crash who supposedly (making finger quotes) "went to the arcade" is actually Gree Guy and Memy Thousands in disguise!

Green Bob: Ha ha! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Jan: It's actually kind of believable!

(Green Bob thinks thoroughly)

Green Bob: Oh, yeah!

Act 6Edit

(Cuts to the fake Crash going to the rest of the Gree Team and Dr. Neo Cortex outside)

Fake Crash: (Gree Guy's voice) I've tricked them into believing that I'm Crash. (Memy's voice) Well, we both did!

Bryan Guy: Good job.

(Gree Guy and Memy9909 rip off their Crash disguise; cuts to Dave being the ride operator)

Dave: (turns around) Whaaatttt? (gasps)

(Gree Guy and Memy9909 goes to Dave and push him)

Gree Guy: Stupid loser!

Memy9909: You're grounded!

Gree Guy: We're stopping this stupid ride! (pulls the lever) Bye, bye yellow loser! (runs off with Memy)

(Geo Guy, Crash Bandicoot, Jan and Green Bob run outside)

Jan: Those bad guys have stopped the ride!

(Jason, Bloo, The Once-ler and Cartman are stuck in the ride)

Jason: (looking down; shouting) Help us, Jan!

Bloo: (shouting) Please! We need you!

(Coraline, Margo and Toon Link are in another train/cart)

Margo: I told you that fake Crash was an imposter, Coraline!

Coraline: (sad) I feel very bad now!

(Geo Guy, Green Bob, Little Guy, Dave, Jan, Crash Bandicoot and Homer Simpson run to the Gree Team)

Homer Simpson: (angry) Why you little impersonate Crash?

Gree Guy: (turns around) Well, well, well. What have we here?

Little Guy: Most of the Geo Team!

Gree Guy: Shut up, Guttle Liy.

Little Guy: (angry) It's LITTLE GUY, you little nerd!

Gree Guy: (angry) GRRRRRRRR! I mean, who are you?

Geo Guy: (angry) We ARE the Geo Team! We fight Gree Team's crime schemes.

(Cuts to Gree Guy, getting shocked)

(7.11 seconds later)

Memy9909: Um, Gree Guy.

Gree Guy: (shocked) Not now! I hate those guys ruining our crime schemes.

Memy9909: Well, Gree Guy, you should let us start the motto, now.

Gree Guy: (jealous) Fine.

(Motto starts)

Gree Guy: We're The Gree Team.

Pingux2012: We make the best crime schemes.

CookieEater2: We're going to drive our car and crash it into the Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash, and destroy our world.

Memy9909: And make everyone watch the worst movie of all time, Mac and Me!

(Motto gets intterupted)

Warren Cook: No, we'll watch the best movie of all time, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, the best Disney movie of all time, released in 1988, and directed by Robert Zemeckis.

(Shows Geo Guy at the living room of the Geo Team base watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit on TV; the TV screen shows Judge Doom, who's about to "dip" Roger Rabbit in the acid known as "the Dip")

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): Yeah, nose plugs would be nice.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge?

Judge Doom (on the TV; on-screen): Well, why not? I don't mind prolonging the execution.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): Happy trails.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): No thanks, Eddie. I'm trying to cut down.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): Drink the drink.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; off-screen): But I don't want the drink.

Judge Doom (on the TV; off-screen): He doesn't want the drink.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; off-screen): He does.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; off-screen): I don't.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): You do.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): I don't.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): You do.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): I don't.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): You do.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): I don't.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): You don't.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): I do.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): You don't.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): I do.

Eddie Valiant (on the TV; on-screen): You don't.

Roger Rabbit (on the TV; on-screen): (taking a drink) Listen, when I say I do, that means I do.

(Geo Guy turned off his TV and went outside)

Geo Guy: (talks to the Geo Team; excited) This is the best movie ever! (talks to Gree Guy; jealous) Anyways, continue your motto.

(Motto resumes)

Gree Guy: (jealous) Fine, Geo Guy. (normal) Anyways, we, the Gree Team, make best crime schemes.

Pingux2012: We're going to drive our car and crash it into the Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash.

CookieEater: We will make them watch "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", and we're going to send Geo Guy into Mars, so he couldn't breathe.

Gree Guy: I'm Gree Guy!

Pingux2012: I'm Pingux2012!

CookieEater: I'm CookieEater!

Memy: I'm Memy Thousands, the cool one!

Bryan Guy, Keithy Guy, Elias, Warren and Sack99Swell: And we're Bryan Guy, Keithy Guy, Elias, Warren and Sack99Swell!

Dr. Neo Cortex: And I'm the best scientist in the world, Dr. Neo Cortex!

(Motto ends)

Gree Guy: The reason why we impersonated Crash is because we want to take control of the Geo Team Base and destroy the ride.

(Cuts to Little Guy getting angry at Gree Guy)

(Fades to black for commercial break)

Act 7Edit

Little Guy: That's why most people who liked Geo Guy, hated you! But some people who liked me, also liked you as well.

Gree Guy: (sarcasm) Thank you, the smart so-called king of 123 Greeny Phatom!

(Shows Nickel getting angry at Gree Guy)

Nickel: (angry) Hey! You stole my sarcasm!

Gree Guy: (angry) Shut up, stupid talking nickel!

(Gree Guy kicks Nickel out of the screen)

Nickel: (screaming) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

(Dave, Geo Guy and Green Bob run away to have a plan)

Geo Guy: Hey, Dave. You should climb to save the others!

Dave: Great idea.

Green Bob: What about the lever?

Geo Guy: Forget about the lever! We've got the prototype of the Grabber Backpack.

Green Bob: Grabber Backpack?

(The scene clocks wipe to where Dave reaches the rollercoaster track with the Grabber Backpack)

Dave: I'm here!

Jason: Hey, get us out of here!

(The Grabber Backpack's robotic claws grabs Jason, Bloo, Cartman and The Once-ler and Dave climbs down the rollercoaster with them)

Gree Guy: (angry) Hey! You're saving those Geo Team losers. No fair.

Pingux2012: Why aren't you doing anything about it?

Bryan Guy: (angry) How can he do this to us when we're stuck in super glue made by the Sticky Horse Glue Company?

(Cuts to a minute later where Dave saves Margo and Coraline)

Margo: Thank you, Dave.

Coraline: Thank you, Dave.

Dave: (speaking English) Well, don't thank me. Thank the Grabber Backpack.

(Grabber Backpack grew a face and limbs)

Grabber Backpack: No problem.

Dave: (shocked at the Grabber Backpack) AAAAAAAAAAH! The Grabber Backpack! It speaks! (throws the Grabber Backpack away)

Coraline: Okay, let's get out of this roller coaster.

(Dave and the girls climbed down the roller coaster)

Crash Bandicoot: Now that we're ready, let's start the battle!

(Warren Cook tries to jump and attack Homer Simpson, but gets strangled)

Homer: (strangles Warren angrily) Why you little...

(Warren falls down)

Warren: (American accent) My neck is too thin... (faints)

(Dave eats bananas and throws them on the grass)

Dave: Here you go.

(Sack99Swell, Keithy Guy, Bryan Guy, Pingux2012 and CookieEater fall on each banana peel)

Keithy Guy: Darn it.

(Bryan Guy crashes into Elias)

Elias: Ouch!

Green Bob: 7 down, 2 to go!

Jan: Well, there's 7 of the Gree Team members that are down. So there's 3 more to go, if you count Dr. Neo Cortex!

Act 8Edit

Crash Bandicoot: Well, time for the tornado spin!

(Crash Bandicoot spins like a tornado and throws the Gree Team and Dr. Neo Cortex into the air)

Crash Bandicoot: (looks at them) Ha ha! Get out of Geo County.

(Cuts to the Gree Team and Dr. Neo Cortex landing in a lion's cage at a zoo in Delaware)

Lion: (angry) RAWR!

Memy9909: Don't eat us!

Gree Guy: (shouting angrily) Screw you, Geo Guy, Crash, and the Geo Team!

(Cuts to Crash and the Geo Team outside of the base)

Crash: I don't think I should need this ride anymore.

The Geo Team: (surprised) Huh?

Geo: Why?

Crash: Because I want to live a normal life, not to be a corporate sell-out.

The Geo Team: Oh!

(A car owned by a Six Flags businessman comes and the man comes out of it)

Geo Guy: Who are you?

Six Flags Businessman: I'm Blake Arroyo, a businessman from Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois, and I'm here to buy this ride.

Crash: I made this ride. It's called the Crash Bandicoot Super Crazy Fun Ride Bash.

Blake Arroyo: Great name. (handshakes Crash) I would like it to appear on unused land at Six Flags Great America, please.

Crash: You can.

(Crash twirls like a tornado and sends the ride from Geoville to Six Flags Great America)

Crash: Done. (gets cash from the businessman) Thank you.

(The businessman gets into his car)

Blake Arroyo: Bye (starts driving the car)

Geo Guy: (talks to Crash) Gee golly, it's not everyday that we see a businessman outside our base.

Crash: That's what I was pondering.

Geo Guy: Pondering? What does that mean?

Green Bob: It means... I don't know. Tell Jan.

Jan: Pondering means "to think about".

Geo Guy: Oh.

Crash: I know I've never done this on this show, (looks at the camera) but that's the end of the episode.

(Iris wipe occurs on Crash's face)

Crash: Stay cool, viewers! Bye!

(Iris wipe shrinks and disappears)

(Credits)

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